There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
how does that bad decision feel?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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