bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
