the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
