I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
