My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you traded sex for a burrito?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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