Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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