so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
