Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
