So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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