I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize