i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
