I'm drive I can fine osifer
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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