I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
