Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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