just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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