What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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