i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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