Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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