The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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