just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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