u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
