Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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