so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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