There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
