Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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