I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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