i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
