Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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