found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
