so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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