What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
