Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
