somebody snuck up and got me drunk
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
