At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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