You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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