Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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