Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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