"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
