is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
