Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
