In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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