Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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