I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
