why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
