I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
