i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My ass is underappreciated
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize