and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
