I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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