Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
