I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
