That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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