I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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