Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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