oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize