whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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