I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
