You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
