i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Couch. On fire.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
