My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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