I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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