I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
