At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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