I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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