I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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