oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
