I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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