She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
