I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
